23 1/2 Week Appointment

It is with a heavy heart that I write this...Alston and I went in today for a routine appointment and found out  during the sonogram that we had lost our little boy.  No heartbeat could be detected.  The sono tech checked out the girl first and everything looked good.  She then went to check out the boy and could not find a heartbeat.  She quickly had me get dressed and go talk to the doctor.  There is no known reason as to why this happened however the doctor thinks it was a chromosomal abnormality (due to it being so late in the pregnancy).  They did some blood work to rule out some type of infection so we will wait to see what comes back with that (but the doctor doesn't think that is the case since the girl is thriving).   He also thinks this happened right after our last appointment.

I have been under a lot of stress with layoffs being made at work, I was one of the lucky ones, but still makes it extremely stressful (losing people you have worked with for years and lots of extra work).  The doctor does not believe that this is the blame at all, although it is hard to walk away without an answer. I did recently (in the last week) tell Alston that I thought I could not feel the boy kicking anymore.  I felt a couple kicks that I thought could be him since they were higher up on my stomach, so I didn't worry too much, but it was always in the back of my mind.  The hard part is to know that regardless of when we detected this, there was nothing we could do about it.

I know our broken hearts will heal with time and we will continue to pray for our little girl to strive!  We will always remember in our minds, hearts and souls our precious little boy that we will never get to know and hope to meet him one day in heaven.  Rest in peace baby boy Howard, we love you, your Mom and Dad.